Hello May! It is time to turn a new page in my life and start packing. I resigned almost directly after my trip to Nordics. It was really scary, but I did it and actually right after that I almost fell into tears. I was so happy. What is my plan then? Well, thumbs up that I will find some job. Am I stupid that I resigned without a so-called plan B? I agree that it might sound ridiculous to do that. But the question is if it is smart to stick with a job you dislike? Seriously, my life started to feel so unsurprising. Somebody might enjoy a super routine life, but it is not me. After New Year I realized that the longer I stayed here I just found myself more and more often missing my ‘old life’ with variable working hours and different routines.
I am a bit scared since I know that it is not easy to find a job in this world, but I am ready to fight for it again even if I know that it will be such an adventure again. I have some ideas which I might use this time. And just a small note, I am not saying that I have (or soon had) a bad job. I know that I got a great opportunity in a banking sector. What I try to say is that one size does not fit all. And for me it is time to start a new era in my life. The universe notified me in a horrible way yesterday that people should concentrate things they like on the earth before it is too late. I got really sad when I heard that one of my colleagues is at peace now. Plenty of thoughts took over my mind for the whole day and night.. All I hope is that she is in the better place now.
I wandered through many things and stuff yesterday in my head, but am I happy that I went to Poland then?
No doubt I am. I have gathered really nice and funny memories and I have learned a lot about myself and also about other people and cultural differences. Another very important thing which I have learned is to defend my rights and not to be so naive. Believe it or not but I even read law couple of times.
I really like this quote below which I have heard many times in Finnish. It is so true and works with intangible things as good as with physical ones.
‘The seller is not stupid, the one is stupid who is buying.’
(Just a little clarification; I am still naive, but at least small improvements can be realized in this field, heh.)
Not only yesterday, I am sometimes using a lot of time to thinking. When I went to Nordics last time my flight was (surprisingly) cancelled. A huge thanks to SAS that they handled the situation so well and professionally. But actually I do not even mind at all to chill few hours at the airport. It is actually quite nice sometimes. This time I even got a direct flight instead of my three, heh. Anyway, if I had not been able to see outside it would have been hard to say what time is it. People come and go and most of them seem to have a good time and enjoying life. Nobody cares if you feel like a beer or dinner at 10 am. I had both, because why not? Sometimes if I have a plenty of time I am thinking where people are heading to and on what purposes. Sometimes I am just wandering through my own thoughts. (And ok, I admit I might surf a bit in social media, heh.)
I was chatting with my old workmate some months ago, we had a bit same thoughts. Both were lost what to do with this gift we all got, life. That is one thing which I am thinking a lot when I am alone. What do I really want to do? I know many things which I want to do, but then again.. That is an endless question for me. In a way I am happy that I am in a place that I can decide to do almost anything, but in a way it is sometimes scary: I am almost 25 years old and what have I done? Well basically nothing, chilled through years. I do not own an apartment/house, I do not have kids and do not have a career. Am I happy? Yes I am, but still something is missing and I do not have the foggiest idea what. Haha, sounds like a crisis. Well, that’s life I guess. We are never 100% satisfied. The neighbor has always a better car and so on. But if you decide a title before the story, can it be fun? I actually never decide a title first when I am writing something. It is so hard to know beforehand what is ahead, right? 😉
Anyway, next I am heading to Sweden. Back to Umeå. Back to the one I love. They say that you should follow your heart, right? So cliché, but well, I will give a try for that thought. We’ll see later how that will work out. We only live once and so on. 😛 And no, I do not have an answer how long I will stay in Sweden, we’ll see. If I am really lucky and find a job I enjoy, it might end up to be a long stay. Maybe no employer likes me there and we come up with something funnier than Sweden, who knows.
Curious what’s next? Does Lilla-Suvi find a job or not? Stay tuned! 😉
P.S. I have slowly started to enjoy hockey (a lot). Hopefully I won’t get a black eye during the hockey world championship since during the last matches I will be in our loved neighbor country. Treat me well Sweden, please! 🙂